Just Like That
by iluvaqt
Summary: S8X18 Treads elaborated. Major spoilers. Jack ponders Kerry's solution to his dilemma, and Sam makes a decision.


Title: Just Like That  
Written By: iluvaqt (16 Feb 2005)  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: She said it so simply, he wondered why the thought hadn't occurred to him before.  
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money is being made from the use of these characters. No copyright infringement is intended. Any original characters, situations, and plot are the property of iluvaqt.

Author's Note: S8x18 Threads elaborated.Thanks to TheCrazySaz for the Sam/Jack/Jacob transcript. And my sincerest thanks to debcole for the super-fast beta. Feedback is always appreciated.

* * *

_  
"Is the Air Force the only thing keeping you two apart?"_

After Kerry left the office, Jack sat down in his chair, lost in thought. Was that really all that was holding him back? Regulations. He'd offered it as an automatic defense a few times in the past when things had sprung up, catching him off guard. Such as the time when Daniel pronounced that they were married in another universe. Weird. Strange. Bizarre. All these words popped into his head, but he'd kept one in particular from slipping out. Really? Instead he'd responded with, "But it's against regulations."

Then there was that embarrassing slip up when he'd mused over the idea of there being two Carters. _"If only."_ He shook his head in memory. Good thing he wasn't the blushing kind. A definite plus when you were in the habit of saying or doing stupid things. It made the job of back peddling a little less obvious.

Jacob was in the infirmary, and from what he'd heard, his friend was in bad shape and probably wouldn't hold up much longer. He thought he would feel really sad about it, but strangely he didn't. Every time the thought came up that Jacob was dying, the fact that he'd cheated death once before kept cropping back up to replace it. Perhaps it was because their line of work kept throwing curve balls, he didn't know what to expect anymore. Not all the surprises were unwelcome or nasty. He couldn't even count on one hand how many times death had lost it's hold on him.

With these thoughts in tow, he left his office and headed for the infirmary. The moment he saw her, all pre-rehearsed speeches dissolved, and he found himself drawing on incoherent babble instead. It was a common occurrence whenever he found himself alone in her presence. She'd been trying to tell him something yesterday. If they hadn't been interrupted he could have sworn she was going to tell him how she felt. His gut told him she still had the same feelings he did. But she was getting married for goodness sake, he argued. When would he let it go? He was happy for her. He really was. And he wasn't the type of guy that would go around and steal another man's woman. Then again, he had been on the scene first. Even though nothing had ever eventuated between them, it didn't discount the fact that they had history. Damn right, they had history. They'd been to hell and back together. Now, how many couples could argue that, literally? A couple. He did just categorize them as a couple? He studied her profile. Was it his imagination or had she grown curvier as of late? At least Pete had made her lighten up a little. She certainly got out more. And she seemed happier too. She smiled more. Heck, Pete even got her humming. So why the second thoughts? He decided to test the waters and his theory.

Jack pulled at the chair, and sat down. Shifting to make himself comfortable, he discreetly edged it closer to hers. He took a reserved breath and rubbed his palms together. In what he hoped was a casual caring tone he asked, "You okay?"

Studying her father through the window, Sam pursed her lips and then nodded. "Actually, I'm fine, good even, strange as that sounds. I thought I lost him years ago – since then we've been closer than we ever were my whole life. In a way, Selmak gave me the father I never thought I'd know."

It didn't sound strange to him, but she sounded far from fine. She'd been crying, her voice was broken and had a stuffy tone to it. It didn't take a genius to see that she was putting on a brave front. He'd seen the change having her father sharing her life had brought to her. Life's unexpected surprises. He'd had his own turn about a few years back. An alien life form had turned his life upside-down in the space of a few short hours. It had certainly given him a few things to think about. Sarah was confused, even accused him of covering up, shutting her out, until he explained everything to her. The Stargate program, why he went back, why he didn't talk about Charlie...even why he let her go. She forgave him for not standing by her. She even forgave him for what happened to Charlie. She said she had long ago, but he wasn't around to hear it. They would never have the same relationship that they had before. But they were friends, and they hung out every so often. Less than she liked, but he wasn't ready to change that. Even though she'd let go of her anger and grief, he wasn't quite there yet. And when he was with her, it just reaffirmed that fact. Maybe the guilt would never fully leave him. But if he learnt anything from his past, it was that time was priceless. And if at any time an opportunity for real happiness ever presented itself, you had to grab it with both hands and enjoy it.

When she looked at him with her glistening clear blue eyes, Jack felt a cord stretch in his chest. "Come 'ere," he said gently, reaching for her.

The relief he felt when she leaned into him and took his hand was immense. Such a mundane thing. A small gesture of comfort, yet he felt like he just been saluted by the President himself. She squeezed his hand and rested her cool cheek against his warm skin.

"Thank you, Sir…" she said, her voice not quite steady.

Part of him resented the fact that she responded to him so officially, then again what could he expect. That's how they were. Enjoying being close to her, and the comfortable silence they had together, if there was anyone who should be grateful, it would be him. But the easy manner they were sharing prompted him to ask. "For what?"

"Just for being here for me."

It was simple statement. He had a habit of needing the obvious stated. But then he realized just how significant this act was to her. All her life she thought she had something to prove. In the Air Force, at the Pentagon, when she joined the S.G.C., even recently when she had taken command of SG-1. She needed approval, but would be damned if she'd ask for it. And he found himself needing to reiterate something that he'd confessed a long time ago. He would never leave her without support. He would never leave her when she was in trouble, or when she needed him most. He might not have her brilliance, even a small measure of her endless talent, but he was a bull-headed Irishman, as his late father loved to boast. And there was no way. No way in hell he'd ever let anything bad happen to her. Not if there was something he could do about it.

"Always," he whispered.

Sam glanced at him and gave him a half smile, her eyes awash with unshed tears. There's something in the way she met his eyes with her steady gaze, gently assessing. Hopeful.

He was a little relieved the attention didn't last long. If she'd kept their gaze for more than that second, he might have confessed to more than he already had. Was that such a bad thing, a voice argued. Timing, Jack countered, the timing would suck.

He should have known their moment wouldn't last. That this connection would end. A few minutes. That's all they'd shared. She got up as one of the Tok'ra motioned to her. She dropped his hand and he let her go. The bond was broken. Jack watched her leave.

As Sam kissed Jacob's forehead, Jack watched from above. He saw his old friend's lips move, knowing it was probably for the last time.

_"I love you."_ Jack read from his lips.

He watched the breath catch in her throat, the slight tremor of her hand as she held her father's hand. Jack saw the chords of her neck tighten as she fought back her emotions. A tear rolled down her cheek, and he looked at the machines by the bedside. Jacob was gone.

Jack swallowed thickly. And looked at his hands. There was a huge lump in his throat and he couldn't seem to dislodge it. Every fiber of his being was captivated by the scene he saw below. Through the glass he watched her grieving. He felt compelled to go to her, and then part of him argued he should stay. She needed to be alone with Jacob. Give her time. She knows you're here. "I'm here if you need me, always," he said softly. And as though she heard him, she looked up in his direction.

Sam looked at Jack and nodded her head slightly. Knowing he was there, gave her the strength she needed to hold it together. The Tok'ra in the room filed out silently. She was grateful to them for the space. Already she wondered if they would allow her to bury her father on earth. She had no idea yet if that's what he would have wanted, but she wanted to have him close. So much had changed between them over the short years they'd been given. Short or not, she would be forever grateful to Selmak and the Tok'ra for giving her, her family. It was the family relationship she'd envied growing up. One she'd given up on ever experiencing. It was more than she'd ever hoped for. And he'd given her hope for something else too.

A year ago, her subconscious had told her to move on. To stop hanging onto something that would never happen, that she deserved to be happy. How narrow-sighted she'd been. She had pretended to let go, and she realized that now. How had she let it go so far? It's not the first time, her conscience reminded her. No, it wasn't. But she swore it most definitely would be the last. The next move she made was going to be life changing. And maybe she should have done it a long time ago. Her dad was right, she had joined the Air Force because she wanted to please him. Also because it had been a step in the direction she really wanted to go. Once she'd joined the Stargate program, all that seemed like a distant memory. She spent a lot more time immersed in ancient technology or updating Stargate operations than she did in military training. Why was she still with the Air Force? Because every time you get a promotion, you see the pride on your commander's face and you just can't wait to work your tail off and see it happen again, a voice chastised her. She felt a flush of pink creep over her cheeks as she remembered how handsome he looked when he'd smiled at her. And how his eyes had sparkled as he announced her promotion, "Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter."

It sounded so sexy and beautiful when he said it. Growing up she'd resented it. Boring and old fashioned she'd thought. As had a lot of the kids in her class. The boys had used it as a way to infuriate her. Sa-man-tha she could almost hear them croon. But when he said it, she felt a tingle under her skin and it was as though it was accompanied with a promise of something mysterious, something to be desired. Samantha. If only he said it more.

The next morning, she called Pete. "Hey."

"Morning Sam, you off today?"

"No, but I'd like to meet you before I head in. We need to talk."

"Sure, I'm at the house. You want me to meet you at your place?"

"No, I'll head over. See you in a bit." She tried to sound upbeat. She wanted to talk to him face to face. He deserved that much. Who was she kidding. He deserved so much more. She just couldn't give it to him.

When she pulled up he was walking around the side of the house. He waved as she got out of the car and headed over.

"As usual, you look great," he smiled and kissed her.

Immediately he sensed something was wrong. She thought she'd got it right, it certainly felt the same as always. Lately she hadn't been comfortable kissing him. It wasn't that she didn't like it. Pete was a fantastic kisser, she just wasn't an openly affectionate type of person. She was more of a hugger than a kisser. And both were usually reserved for more private situations. Pete was her opposite in that respect. He was always affectionate, and wasn't shy about it.

"I'm sorry Sam," he said, "Your brother told me about your dad."

"I'm okay," Sam assured him with a reassuring smile. "I was lucky, most people don't get a second chance. I got to spend four years with him."

"But that's not it, is it?" Pete said guardedly. He was looking at her, assessing. He'd always been pretty good at reading her. And she knew he didn't like what he was seeing.

"I can't marry you, Pete," she said softly.

Pete moved his hand away from hers and sucked in a breath. Sam watched his jaw work. He opened his mouth to say something and stopped. He looked at her, and then at his hands.

"Why?" he asked with a tremor in his voice.

"This just doesn't feel right. I'm sorry, Pete." She reached for his hand, hoping to offer a small gesture of comfort. But he pulled away.

"I knew from the beginning..." Pete swallowed painfully. He always thought that even though there'd always been something holding her back, things had changed. At least he thought so. "...I guess I just thought, when you said yes..."

Seeing the sadness in her eyes wasn't making it any easier for him. Be he knew the look was because she had let things go on, instead of letting him know well before now, and not because of regret over them. "You were worth the risk," he finished his voice barely a whisper.

Sam blinked back tears. She bit her lip and wanted to tell him how great he was, and that it wasn't him. That she just couldn't go forward without really trying a door that just might be open.

"And, don't say I deserve better," he said his voice cracking. "Can't get much better than you..."

"That's not true," Sam protested.

"I wish I could believe that this had something to do with your father... you needed some time to sort things out." But I know better, he told himself inwardly. That'll teach you for falling for a military girl, Shanahan. They always did say they came with a lot of baggage. He wasn't bitter. At least he was trying not to be. Marriage was a lifetime deal. At least it was for him, and he wasn't going to be someone's second best. Life was too short to live it miserably. "Well...I guess all I can say is, I hope you get what you want."

Sam's eyes widened slightly. "That's it?"

Pete clenched his fist at his side. "What do you want? You want me to get down on my knees and beg?" he said his voice trembling.

Tears welled up in her eyes, and Sam shook her head. "God, no. No, of course not. I just...I thought you would react differently."

Tears threatened to spill from his eyes, and Pete knew he had to leave. It was bad enough that she was breaking it off with him. He wouldn't live with the memory of crying in front of her.

"Bye, Sam."

"Pete..." she started.

Pete got up off the bench and walked away from her. He could feel her eyes on his back. Could still feel how her voice felt in his ears. The soft, sad way she called his name. A tear slipped down his cheek, and he brushed it away angrily.

Sam watched as he went to the sign board and ripped the sold sticker off. Their house was back on the market. And now, so was she. So why did she feel so rotten. Because you hurt him. And even though she didn't want to marry Pete, she had grown to care for him a lot. And watching him in pain, pain she was putting him through, hurt her.

It would have been better if he'd been angry. Said something she had expected to hear. Something that would make her feel a little less guilty. But he didn't. That's why she knew how wrong she'd been to let the relationship go on for as long as it did. She'd hurt Pete deeply. And if there was anything she regretted about her decision,it was that. But it would have hurt them both a lot more in the long run if she'd let it continue. Because she had come to understand something about herself. Whether she and Jack had a chance or not wasn't the point. It was that she wouldn't be happy marrying Pete, without at least giving herself the opportunity to find out.

The week had rolled by in a blur. So much had happened. They'd lost Jacob - a friend, a father and invaluable ally. They'd gotten Daniel back. Anubis was gone - for now, and the Kull warriors were nothing more than a distant bad, very bad memory. The universe was safe - for now. So relaxing by his little pond, with an attractivecompanion was what he called a well earned break.

It was a perfect Saturday afternoon. The trees along the pond provided semi-shade and the slight breeze offered ripples of cool air over the water. He grinned to himself. His joy when Carter had accepted his invitation was clouded by thoughts of why she did say yes, and why she wasn't wearing her wedding ring anymore. So it was off? The last few days there had been no humming, no mention of Pete, and no florist or dress shopping appointments. But then there hadn't been a lot of humming for a long while. But they'd been saving the world, getting chased by replicators and Goa'ulds bent on galactic domination - that had to put a damper on even the brightest of spirits. Then again he'd gotten kind of used to it now...still, he missed the chirpy Carter.

"This is great," Sam mused. "I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."

Jack grinned, and reeled in his line. There was the hint of a smile. They were on the road to that old self. With a little luck, maybe he could drag a laugh out of her yet. "Yes, well, let's not dwell."

Sam dipped her rod, and then looked at Jack. "There are no fish in this pond, are there?"

Jack gave her that wolfish smirk. "Nope." And it was just the way he liked it. He didn't care about the catching. Just sitting, relaxing, winding in and casting out. It was his recreational activity. She played with naquadah generators for fun. He caught no fish for fun, and watched The Simpsons. His two favorite pastimes. He seriously couldn't understand how she couldn't watch the show. It was damn funny, not to mention educational. He learnt a lot from Homer. If you set up the drinking bird just right it could type for you - ingenious. Just a pity he couldn't co-ordinate them properly to type up a whole mission report. "You know, I have to be honest and say there was one thing I was really looking forward to at your wedding."

"Really?" Sam asked with a raised eyebrow. He had been looking forward to her getting married? Suddenly she wasn't as hopeful about their prospects as she had been moments before. Especially considering he'd asked her to come fishing, and this time she hadn't turned him down.

"Oh, come on, you know how much I love cake," Jack said with a sigh.

Sam laughed. It had to be her first blonde moment ever. And here she'd been worrying about him disappointed at not being able to give a speech or something else trivial.

"Did someone say cake?" Daniel asked, juggling his end of the ice chest in one hand and his deck chair in the other. "Teal'c brought apple pie."

"Good enough," Jack exclaimed gleefully. "Gimme, gimme. And did I mention it's great that you guys came."

"No, and thanks," Daniel said easing into his chair and stretching. Suddenly he frowned, and swatted away a mosquito. Scrunching his nose, he swatted at another one. "Ah, Jack, you wouldn't happen to have any bug repellent would you?"

"No. Just try and enjoy yourself."

Jack didn't notice the exchange behind him. But Teal'c had discreetly reached into his vest and pulled out a small can, and was passing it to Daniel.

"Thank God," Daniel breathed gratefully.

"Indeed," Teal'c said with a half smile.

**THE END**


End file.
